5 Things You Must Know About Someone Before You Date – Courting Danger

Photo by agastechag

Photo by agastechag

Love is one of the most amazing emotions. When all things are as they seem it can be a delightful blend of romance, heart-pounding chemistry, and friendship.

When falling in love it is easy to move too quickly, excuse too much, and overlook flaws that are warning signs. In the magic of that moment it is essential to recognize 5 Things You Must Know About Someone Before You Date. Ignore them and you could be courting danger.

5 Things You Must Know About Someone Before You Date:

*How important is control to your new love interest?

The need for control is a danger sign. Anyone who pressures you to speed up the relationship’s progression, or attempts to exert control over your emotions, time, friendships, finances, or even spirituality is waving a red flag.

Watch this individual’s other relationships and see how control comes into play. Do they always want their own way? Are they manipulative or demanding of other’s time? Do they get jealous easily?

Time is one of the true measures to observing this behavior. Don’t rush into any committed relationship without the benefit of time to truly get to know the other person.

*How have their past relationships evolved and ended? Do they have a troublesome past?

Relationships often follow similar patterns. If your current love interest has had difficulty in a particular area of

Photo by R.D.O.

Photo by R.D.O.

a previous relationship, chances of that issue resurfacing are common. Unfaithfulness, jealousy, anger issues, or neediness present in previous relationships may show up in yours.

Talk to previous girlfriends/boyfriends. Don’t just take someone’s word for it. He/she is only sharing his/her side of the story and the wrong kind of person will know how to spin it.

Research for troublesome details in their past or present. Use outside sources, including those online.

*What are their friends like?

You can tell a lot about a person by who they hang out with. If you don’t like to spend time with someone’s friends, chances are your relationship will frustrate you both.

It will be obvious if your values or faith perspectives are shared. People are attracted to others who share their outlook on life. This will vary some, but their closest friends should reflect similar values.

*What do others of the same gender think of them?

Photo by Katinka Kober

Photo by Katinka Kober

A guy may be able to put on a show for the girl he is interested in, but chances are there are chinks in his armor that show more easily when he is not around you or your friends. The same is true of a girl. Knowing what those of the same gender think of your new heartthrob is a great way to identify dangerous or undesirable traits.

*Do they exhibit any dangerous behaviors or personality patterns?

Notice any risk-taking behaviors your new interest exhibits. Watch for personality traits consistent with predators, violent men, the chemically dependent, and other types that don’t manage well in a relationship. 

What do you think someone MUST know about someone before they date?



About Michelle Lim

Author Michelle Lim is the Brainstorming/Huddle Coach with My Book Therapy Press and the Midwest Zone Director for American Christian Fiction Writers. Michelle’s romantic suspense is represented by Karen Solem of Spencillhill Associates and has gained contest recognition in the Frasier, the Genesis, and the Phoenix Rattler, winning the Genesis in 2015 for her genre. Michelle writes devotionals for The Christian Pulse Online Magazine and Putting On The New. Since her nonfiction book release, Idea Sparking: How To Brainstorm Conflict In Your Novel, through public speaking and online chats Michelle helps writers discover the revolutionary power of brainstorming to bring new life to their stories.

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