Okay, so maybe I say some crazy ones too, but its so much easier to recognize the crazy things that other people say. I’m not just talking about idioms, although we have to wonder about a few of those too, like:
Don’t Spill The Beans – Every parent in America knows that those beans from the pan are going to end up in all kinds of crazy spilled places just because they are green and healthy.
Don’t Let The Cat Out Of The Bag – Who puts a cat in a bag? Someone had definitely better call the Humane Society.
Yes, Idioms are silly, that’s kind of the nature of them. But what about those other things we say?
Here’s a few other goofy phrases that come to mind:
Good things come to those who wait- I suppose eventually something good will come along if you wait, but won’t it come along if you just go about your everyday life too? If this phrase were true, I’m going to have an amazing future!
Are we there yet? – If we were truly there, we would not still be riding in a moving vehicle. Just saying.
Have a heart- Humans do have a heart and even if they didn’t that can’t think one into existence.
Don’t make me come back there- Kids know that you really don’t want to go back there when you are driving on the freeway. And really, could they make you?
He’s two fruit short of a fruit salad- Okay, so there is a certain number of fruit required to make it a fruit salad?
Be careful- At least 80% of the time this is said by a mom right after a child hurts themselves. Like the advice is really going to help at that point.
It’s not you, it’s me- Duh! But if it weren’t for who ‘you’ is, than it wouldn’t be me.
We’re as happy as two peas in a pod- We have a vast new psychology study on the happiness of pod sharing peas? And can peas feel, if so I tortured some last night over dinner.
The elevator doesn’t go all the way up- Then why in the world do you have one? Oh, yes. It is to take you up the first three flights, so you can walk the last twelve.
Somewhere over the rainbow dreams come true- If this were really true, people would be walking around saying, “I quit my day job to chase rainbows. Figure to make a quick mil.” (Note to gullible: Rainbows are a get rich quick scheme.)
No, you may not hit your sister with a brick- I threw this one in there for you moms out there who have those cardboard bricks for kids to build with. Never talk on the phone during brick arguments.
If it was made to do that, then it would say so on the package- Everyone knows that they say what not to use a product for on the package. They don’t want us to limit ourselves. Have you ever seen Funniest Home Videos? Maybe they should put what it’s for on the package.
He’s one brick short of a full load- No one hauls bricks anymore and just how important can one brick be?
Does this make me look fat? – Just saying, there is absolutely no good way to answer this question.
Now its your turn. What are some of the goofiest phrases you’ve heard others say? (Whoever strikes my funny bone the most gets a free copy of a Chonda Pierce, Ken Davis, or Tim Hawkins Comedy DVD. So Start writing down those crazy lines.)