Goofiest Phrases We Say All The Time

There are so many crazy, yet silly things we say all of the time. Sometimes I just want to ask, where do people come up with these things?

Okay, so maybe I say some crazy ones too, but its so much easier to recognize the crazy things that other people say. I’m not just talking about idioms, although we have to wonder about a few of those too, like:

Don’t Spill The Beans – Every parent in America knows that those beans from the pan are going to end up in all kinds of crazy spilled places just because they are green and healthy.

Don’t Let The Cat Out Of The Bag  – Who puts a cat in a bag? Someone had definitely better call the Humane Society.

Yes, Idioms are silly, that’s kind of the nature of them. But what about those other things we say?

Here’s a few other goofy phrases that come to mind:

Good things come to those who wait- I suppose eventually something good will come along if you wait, but won’t it come along if you just go about your everyday life too?  If this phrase were true, I’m going to have an amazing future!

 A watch pot never boils- I just want to point out that this is not true. If you stand and stare at a pot of water that is sitting over a heat source, it will eventually boil.

Are we there yet? – If we were truly there, we would not still be riding in a moving vehicle. Just saying.

Have a heart- Humans do have a heart and even if they didn’t that can’t think one into existence.

Don’t make me come back there- Kids know that you really don’t want to go back there when you are driving on the freeway. And really, could they make you?

He’s two fruit short of a fruit salad- Okay, so there is a certain number of fruit required to make it a fruit salad?

Be careful- At least 80% of the time this is said by a mom right after a child hurts themselves. Like the advice is really going to help at that point.

It’s not you, it’s me- Duh! But if it weren’t  for who ‘you’ is, than it wouldn’t be me.

We’re as happy as two peas in a pod- We have a vast new psychology study on the happiness of pod sharing peas? And can peas feel, if so I tortured some last night over dinner.

The elevator doesn’t go all the way up- Then why in the world do you have one? Oh, yes. It is to take you up the first three flights, so you can walk the last twelve.

Somewhere over the rainbow dreams come true- If this were really true, people would be walking around saying, “I quit my day job to chase rainbows. Figure to make a quick mil.” (Note to gullible: Rainbows are a get rich quick scheme.)

No, you may not hit your sister with a brick- I threw this one in there for you moms out there who have those cardboard bricks for kids to build with. Never talk on the phone during brick arguments.

If it was made to do that, then it would say so on the package- Everyone knows that they say what not to use a product for on the package. They don’t want us to limit ourselves. Have you ever seen Funniest Home Videos? Maybe they should put what it’s for on the package.

He’s one brick short of a full load- No one hauls bricks anymore and just how important can one brick be?

Does this make me look fat? – Just saying, there is absolutely no good way to answer this question.

Now its your turn. What are some of the goofiest phrases you’ve heard others say? (Whoever strikes my funny bone the most gets a free copy of a Chonda Pierce, Ken Davis, or Tim Hawkins Comedy DVD. So Start writing down those crazy lines.)


About Michelle Lim

Author Michelle Lim is the Brainstorming/Huddle Coach with My Book Therapy Press and the Midwest Zone Director for American Christian Fiction Writers. Michelle’s romantic suspense is represented by Karen Solem of Spencillhill Associates and has gained contest recognition in the Frasier, the Genesis, and the Phoenix Rattler, winning the Genesis in 2015 for her genre. Michelle writes devotionals for The Christian Pulse Online Magazine and Putting On The New. Since her nonfiction book release, Idea Sparking: How To Brainstorm Conflict In Your Novel, through public speaking and online chats Michelle helps writers discover the revolutionary power of brainstorming to bring new life to their stories.

16 thoughts on “Goofiest Phrases We Say All The Time

  1. He’s crazy as a road lizard.–overheard this one in an ICU waiting room. Love, love this post. I’ll have to think a little to come up with more.

  2. Michelle Lim says:

    LOL! That’s an awesome one, Pat! So just how crazy is a road lizard, eh? Fun.

  3. Melissa Tagg says:

    Okay, this is not a common phrase, but we say it around my office a lot ever since a coworker said it: Please, God, don’t take away the cowboys.

    I don’t even know what we mean by it. We just love saying it!!!

  4. M. Saint-Germain says:

    Okay, I LOVE idioms. In my first novel, Okana, a teenager, comes to America from Russia and really has trouble learning our language. She’s very literal (not quite as bad as Amelia Bedelia) but bad. I had lots of fun writing how she took our terms literally.
    Anyway, (always the random story generator, ugh) this isn’t funny, really, but I say it all the time and I listen for others to say it. I’ve noticed that all my friends say it too and wonder if they got it from me. Or do many people do this. But whenI have a long story to tell I preface it with, “This is the THING…” The thing? Where did I get that phrase? I’m supposed to be full of powerful nouns and verbs. THING? Things could be anything! How vague. Typically it’s what comes AFTER, “This is THE thing” that’s really powerful. (Or so I think.)
    Great post Michelle.

  5. One more. My way or the highway.

  6. Michelle Lim says:

    Perfect one, Pat. Sounds like a toddler rant, huh. If you don’t do it my way you can leave….and we as adults think this is a great phrase…hehe.

  7. Emily says:

    I love the Ostrich pic so much! This made my day. I actually kinda feel like that this morning!

  8. At bedtime, my dad always said, “Time to hit the hay.” What??? Why? What did the hay do to you? I suppose it harks back to a time when mattresses were stuffed with hay or straw, but who uses those nowadays?
    But then, “Time to hit the foam and inner springs” really doesn’t have a great ring to it, either, does it?

  9. Michelle Lim says:

    My dad used to say that too…hehe. It is funny. Thanks for sharing!

  10. Unfortunately, this one has had a resurgence: “Nite, don’t let the bed bugs bite…

  11. Oh and the ostrich made me think of one (I like him too) Stick your head in the sand.

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